


so, i don’t have to be afraid

by shepromisestheearth



Category: Original Story, Our Pure King
Genre: Comfort fic, Crush, Denial of Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Healing, Holding Hands, Hugging, OCs - Freeform, One-Sided Attraction, Original Character - Freeform, Original Characters - Freeform, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship, just not in this particular piece of work!, takes place before OPK, theyll be in love later yes, when they’re little freshman babies lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 14:47:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17789384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shepromisestheearth/pseuds/shepromisestheearth
Summary: “Do you still-,” Rose opened her mouth, but Benny didn’t have hear the words she struggled to find. He already knew them; he let her rack her brain, curl her tongue and her hands around the right thing, “Do you still like, feel shit for me? Y’know, like, do you still have a crush on me?”-A short scene about the one question Rose still has after the two rekindle their friendship. (Takes place before Our Pure King.)





	so, i don’t have to be afraid

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve tried to write this scene many a time, but this is my first success. Enjoy!

“I DON’T KNOW if it’s rude to ask you,” 

Benny looked over at her, hugging his knees. Her palms pressed her cheeks, dragging them down as if she was in anguish over something. Her legs bounced impatiently.

“Rude to ask what?” He said apprehensively, moving his hand to rest his cheek on his hand. His heart thudded hard in his chest.

“Do you still-,” Rose opened her mouth, but Benny didn’t have to hear the words she struggled to find. He already knew them; but he let her rack her brain, curl her tongue and her hands around the right thing, “Do you still like, feel shit for me? Y’know, like, do you still have a crush on me?”

The words sizzled in the air, and Benny drizzled out a sigh. 

“I’m not complimenting myself by asking you, it’s just- y’know, you don’t have a girlfriend or anything. Fuck, I’m making it worse, you don’t have to have a girlfriend to- forget it. I’m sorry I asked. I shouldn’t have.” Rose said, groaning as she leaned over and clutched her middle like she was sick. She wasn’t. 

“Yes.” Benny said quietly, surprising himself. But he couldn’t stop, “I do.” 

Rose stilled, “You do? After all this time?”

“Yes,” His heart was caught in his throat, “Yes, still.” 

“Oh, Benny,” Rose threw her head up, her hair flying back into place like embers raining down from a fire, her face softening as she looked at him, “Oh, God, Benny. I’m so sorry.” 

“No, no, it’s alright-,” his voice broke. Her arms wrapped his middle, and she forced her face into chest. 

“Please don’t cry.” She begged him, her fingers clutching against the fabric of his shirt, “Please don’t cry because of me. God, I was so shitty to you!” 

Benny had not felt the tears on his face before Rose pointed them out; they seared like acid. He was too afraid to hug back, both trembling too hard, “No, no, it’s okay. It’s really okay. I’ll be alright. I know you don’t feel the same way and that’s okay. It’s okay.” 

“I just feel bad.” Her voice muffled against him, “Geez, I feel bad.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I was such a bad person,” Rose said, squeezing her eyes shut. Her hands had relaxed, now tracing shapes onto her best friend’s back, “I-I abandoned you, when you needed me-,”

“Please don’t cry, Rose,” Benny said worriedly. Rose never cried, never truly cried. He had only seen her do it a handful of times; one being when she came to his house after everything happened, running to him and sobbing into his arms about how sorry she was about everything. How she wish she could’ve known, could’ve helped him, could’ve done anything, “Please, I don’t blame you for anything. You weren’t and aren’t a bad person. You just don’t feel the same way. And that’s okay. Honestly.” 

“You’re crying too!” She said, pulling back with a gulp of laughter amongst her tears. Her pale face was flushed, face crumpled. The red surrounding her wet eyes made her irises startlingly brighter, powder blue. 

“Well,” Benny wiped his eyes, “I always cry.” 

“I was a bad friend.” 

Benny pressed his lips into a line, “You weren’t the best friend. But that doesn’t matter anymore.” 

She looked down, her hands sliding down his back and settled at his hips lightly. She bit down on her lip, furrowing her eyebrows as if she were trying to read French, “I’m trying to be better. Less self centered.” 

“I know.” Benny said. A hint of a smile, although his eyes still watered.

“I’m here for you.” Rose said firmly, setting her jaw and glaring at what lay beyond his backyard, “I fuckin’ mean it- I’m not going to let anyone hurt you again. Ever.” 

Her words resounded in his ears and his heart melted, and he let out a heavy breath that seemed to resolve all tension that still buzzed between them. Everything would be alright. 

“Thank you.” He choked on his words, “Thank you, Rose.” 

“It’s my job.” She shrugged with a slight smile- gracing him with it. Her fingers snaked the wrinkles in his shirt. 

“I- Rose, I lo-,” 

“What do you, like…,” Rose glanced over her shoulder, interrupting him and pulling her hands away from him to wrap around her chest. The red velvet of her tank top turned golden in his back porch light, “Like, what do you see in me, I guess?”

“Why, you’re Rose Winchester, aren’t you? Lover of men and women?” Benny joked, nudging her with his elbow at an attempt to relax the mood. She was still very close to him, her knees resting on his leg.

Rose pursed her lips and tried not to smile, “I know why other people adore me. I want to know why you do.” 

“I’ve never had to say it out loud before.” He rubbed his cheek and closed his eyes. He listened to the crickets, their songs of the night whistling through his ears.

“Stage is yours,” 

“I-uhm, well, you just-,” Benny flustered, “You’re everything anyone could want. You’re outspoken, and funny… and you’re really cute. Fun to be around- everyone likes you, really. You’re so confident in yourself, it’s so nice, beautiful people hardly ever acknowledge their own beauty.” 

Her brows danced, “Speaking from experience?” 

Benny looked away and covered his mouth with his hand, embarrassedly mumbling a no.

“Aw, come on. I know plenty of people who would bed you.” Rose laughed.

“I’m not interested in that, really.” Benny, watching as Rose continued to draw shapes on his pants leg. Triangle. Square. Circle. Another circle, a lopsided star. Some sort of misshaped mammal.

“Have you had steamy thoughts about me?” A laugh was caught in her throat, her eyes flicking up to his face to gauge his response.

“No. Never.” Benny said, looking at his feet. He flushed, feeling her gaze on him- like he was waiting to turn and say, gotcha!

“Really?” Rose sounded astounded, hand wrapping his arm, “Never?”

“No, I’m just not interested in stuff like that.” Benny shrugged, “Don’t know why. I’m just more of a hugging sort, I suppose.”

“Huh.” Rose said, rubbing her chin, “Well, that makes my wet dreams about you embarrassing, then. I thought they would be a nice tidbit for you to think about in the shower.”

“Your what?”

“Doesn’t mean anything! Your subconscious comes up with ‘em, I must’ve been hanging out with you before I had them. And it’s only happened once.” Rose said.

“You mean you- imagined me like that?”

“Yes, little angelic Benny Herschkowitz. You were a bashful little virgin in them, don’t worry.” Rose waved him off, “It was practically like every hang out session of ours, ‘cept you were wearing less clothes and we made out.” 

Benny could hardly contain his giggles, “You? You really-,”

“It was one time!” She grinned, shoving him lightly, “Dammit, I shouldn’t have told you. Don’t think you’re special, now.” 

Benny smiled, “I don’t. Did I look any different? More feminine?”

Rose furrowed her eyebrows, “What?”

“Because, y’know, you prefer girls.” Benny flushed. 

“Oh! No. You were certainly a lot more bedroom-eyed.” Rose shrugged. She looked at her best friend, rubbing his knee, “Everything okay? I’m sorry again, about not feeling the same.” 

“It’s really alright. And I’m just fine.” 

“Good.” Rose nodded, “You guys have anything to eat?” 

“Yes, we do. We have your bottle of sprite, always.” 

“After all these years!” Rose jumped to her feet. Her hands clenched into excited fists. 

“Well, it isn’t the same bottle.” Benny said smiling, as Rose’s hand wrapped his in order to help him up. He let her, and his hand lingered too long in her grasp. 

Benny didn’t mind.


End file.
